My love interest's ex has the keys to her new apartment!?

My ex and I just started trying to get back to one another. Things have been going ok between us until the other night when we walked into her new apartment and found that it had been tidied up a bit and an A/C had been installed while she was with me. She confessed that her ex had the keys to her apartment %26amp; had bought %26amp; installed it for her uninvited. He has a girlfriend %26amp; no longer wants to be with her but he continues to do these kinds of excessive caretaking. Bought her a mac, gave her his car, tried to take her to the theatre for her b'day. I am upset but she feels I should understand that she is new to this country (has a son coming over) and when we broke up he was there for her. She saids he is her only family in the states. She offered to get the keys back from him but I feel that she should stop taking these gifts from him if she wants to be in a relationship with me. I told her she was not respecting my feelings and being an immigrant does not justify it.

Opinions please!

My love interest's ex has the keys to her new apartment!?secure browser

run like the wind......

My love interest's ex has the keys to her new apartment!?home theater opera theater

I smell a rat.. time to throw out the old block of cheese. Bud.. this is not going to work , as she is making up excuses for everything...

the is going to be a big headache, I think I might look for someone is more secure and on their feet.....
Interesting.. your story is almost exactly mine and it may be (if you changed facts a bit) but I am the guy on the other side..

I was in a relationship with a woman immigrant for 2 years and we recently broke up.. She is in a new relationship and I am afraid that my continuing friendship with her will be detrimental to her new relationship.

However, she still wants to be friends..calls me all the time ... she says I am the only family she has in the states, etc...

She calls and asks me to do things for her (I am very handy and after being with her for 2 years I know her house very well and can fix almost anything in minutes -- in fact I fixed her AC a few weeks back . . . )

I have been trying to tell her to ask her new beau to do it.. but she says he does not know how.. (which I cannot figure out since he is a builder and should be very handy...)

I recently gave her the garage door opener back.. but I still have stuff in her house .. (I am building a new house and have things stored in hers)... so i need to get in if I need my stuff (I have lots of my tools stored there)..

I want her to be happy.. and hope she does well for the future...and yes I still care for her.. but I am pretty sure it will never work out between us.. so... I have been trying to back off slowly getting her to be more self reliant -- or relying on her new beau.. but..

The gifts (AC, Mac, etc) you describe are a bit much.. (although l loaned my spare car to my ex for her daughter... and she has offered to store it for now until I have room for it...)

Try not to be jealous.. He sounds like a nice guy and if he has a new GF.. the new GF will put a stop to things if it becomes serious... as he devotes more of his time and $$ to the new GF..

Just realized that he is a support network for her.. imagine how hard it is to move to the US far away from her family.. and how brave she was for just moving here...

%26lt;BTW%26gt;.. If you can step up and be that support network then his support will not be needed and you can stop worrying..
call ICE and have her deported.
Whoa! It is not natural for an ex to do all of those things. Something does not add up here. If there is nothing going on now, it is just a matter of time. Especially since your girlfriend is obviously so fond of him.

It also sounds like she may be taking advantage of all of her exes - you included. Think about it...
I am still friends with one of my ex. and his son. we are friends. He was very good to me and i was close to his son.

He has worked on my cars. But we dont pal around and he is not at my house nor does he have a ke y,

I wouldnt like it

She is open anyway.that is a plus. i would proceed with caution. meet the guy. a honest guy to guy chat is adviceable.

You can be friends . maybe he is a

nice guy

why arent you doing those kind of nice things for her then he would have no excuse to butt in.
Either buy and install a new lock on the door. Solves that problem. Only 4 screws to put a new lock on the door.

If she has a cell phone, she can change the number, but why would she.....He's buying her stuff that you will not buy her. Simple. She's a money grubbing .........WOMAN.
nobody give someone that much stuff just because they are friends. without getting a little something in return.
run fast run deep---she is in love with this guy still and she just wants you around to pay her bills---i bet you offered to pay some bills already for her and soon she will have you paying everything but she will still be getting sex from this other dude---get out now if you are smart
oh she's giving the ex extra's. she's playing you. time to move on.
harsh!!! hes not interrested in her she needs help hes helping her it sounds just friendly stop being so gellios if u want a good relationship with her u need to trust her and by doing this ur not
your a guy come on use your brain. Would you ever do that for a girl if you did not have filling for her. This is her ex. if something is not going on now with them, then it will again sometime. I'm sorry but your just on the bad end. things will never be good with you and her because of him. trust me she will not let him go. you said it your self " things have been going okay between you and her ". Okay is not great maybe you should think what you want too. You and her will never have what you did the first time together, just remember that. you do not need someone like her in my eyes but then again you don't know me. but good luck to you
If she is just letting him do stuff for her without giving something in return, she is a user. Beware, it is what she does and will get all she can from you. If she is giving "something" in return, she is unfaithful to you. Beware, it is what she does. Don't take this personally. It is who she is. Run like a scared rabbit.
Totally agree with you.... It's one thing to be Friends with your ex but its another to have something like that going on.... it would make me feel like she cheating.... the respectful thing would be for him to give the key back and only come around when you are there too.
sounds like he still cares for her. not sure in what way but she should tell him she doesnt need that much help, maybe he could be there if she needs a friend.
She is ABSOLUTELY wrong for taking gifts from him and letting him do stuff for her. If she is willing to give him a key to her apartment and let him do all these things for her then she needs to be with him. She obviously has some feelings for him because if she didn't, she would not let him do such extreme things for her. You should be the only one supplying her with anything she needs. If she is unwilling to stop accepting things from him, I think you should move on. Let him take care of her if that is what she wants. They have feelings for each other and you are like the third wheel. Leave her dude and find someone else that will respect you and your feelings.
you are right she should not be accepting gifts from him and should either get her key back or change her locks you are her family now and she should respect how you feel
true enough, being an immigrant doesn't justify her situation, but for her to stop taking the gifts and call her friendship off with him would be crazy. She's looking at it like, "he was there for me when you left me and he's here for me now, so if you leave me again he'll still be here for me." It's a whole sticking together situation, just like she said he's her only family in the states. who cares if he's buys her a AC and other things, more money in your pocket.
She needs to drop her ex and stop accepting stuff from him. Nothing good will come of it.
Sounds like she is doing a little more than just being his friend. What happens if you are visiting and he comes over. If he is in a relationship does his girlfriend know what is going on? I am sure she doesn't and if she did she wouldn't be very pleased with the situation. But there is something more going on than just friends. The immigrant thing is bs, that doesn't constitute this improper relationship.
it sucks but i cant blame her, those are alot of big gifts that make life a HOLE lot easier so unless you can compare (financially) i dont think you have a shot at getting her to leave him alone, i mean are you really that great in bed?
man that's a really hard case, on one side she has a point, on the other, that's not right, don't ask this here, decide for yourself what's more important but it's a bit shady...
Nobody's that friendly for nothing. Does his girlfriend know he has a key and is buy another woman gifts like a car?
Way too much baggage.
She certainly should get the keys back....and cut off all contact with the guy. It's not like he just wants to be friends...he obviously wants a relationship with her.

Tell her she is not being fair and give her an ultimatum...good luck!
You're right.

The X isn't an X if he's got keys.

Even if they aren't having sex, although I'm suspicious, your gf's dependence on her X is inappropriate.
well change the door lock k
Probably they are still "seeing" each other. You seem like a nice guy, dump her! You deserve better. =]
she needs to get her locks changed.
I'd break up with her. It sounds like she has no interest in your feelings, and I suspect she might be a user. I can't imagine that guy is giving her all that stuff if she's not giving him a little something in return, if you know what I mean.