Whats the funniest thing someone has ever said, done or you've heard of?

Pretty self explaniroy. Up for a luagh. Mines long and not that good but its all i can remember.

There was a snake wrangler shwoing a typan in my school lecture theatre there was about 90 people in there and i was in the first row. The wrangled asked " what should you do if you see a typan, say in the bush near your house?" A few people mumured but the guy next to me piped up " Stand completely still". The wrangler chuckled at him and stated,"Ill put this guy on the steps and see how many of you stay completely still!"

Whats the funniest thing someone has ever said, done or you've heard of?soap opera

well, when my daughter was 3 years old , she loved eating lunchmeat without bread. one day i was cooking dinner and she asked me for a slice. i agreed to one slice and told her that she can only have one cause we about to eat dinner. she eat that one and asked for another,i said no and told her that eating to much lunchmeat without bread will make her sick...now this child of mine , put both hands on her hips and asked me" do u want me to get sick or angry?"

Whats the funniest thing someone has ever said, done or you've heard of?city opera opera theater

I was at Three Rivers Stadium years ago for a Pirates-Cubs game....as often happens late in the season when the Buccos kinda suck, there weren't very many people there, so you could hear individual fans cheering/heckling.

Anyway, late in the game, Jay Bell hits a smash down to first base, and the Cubbies' Mark Grace, usually a fine first baseman, boots the ball. The ball bounces over toward Ryne Sandberg (gold glove second baseman) who takes a swipe at the ball and whiffs on it. Bell is safe at first, and the ball is just sitting there, spinning on the turf between the two Cubs. Right then, some leather-lunged guy in the box seats bellows out, "Hit it again Ryno, it's still breathing."

Ya had to be there.
Chairs. lol.